(no subject)

[moscow_watcher]

My contribution to awmp's Spuffy snarkathon

Written for jamesmfan
A keyword/ situation/ line she wants to see: Spike saying "But their love is so pure!"
Three other requests for the fic: season 7, non-bitey, Oz/Oz mention.
Up to three restrictions for the fic: No character bashing.
Rating preference: Any.
Thanks for my wonderful beta reddygirl

SO PURE

It was over even before it really started. A group of bikers, who were terrorizing a couple at the corner table, were thrown out of Bronze.
Buffy noticed that Spike's kicks and punches were a bit restrained - since the chip has been removed he was afraid to hurt a human accidentally. She had to give him a couple of sparring sessions to bring back his confidence. And to help him to get back in form. And to test his... his reflexes. Buffy sighed and reluctantly tore her eyes off his slender figure.

The couple harassed by the bikers turned out to be Oz and an unknown blonde, who was trembling and crying. After a quick hug with Oz, Buffy informed him that he shouldn't be afraid of Spike who's a good guy now, and then accompanied Oz's girl to the rest room.
Oz took the news about Spike's new status as calmly as usual.
"So, you and Buffy?.." - he asked Spike as soon as the girls left.
The vampire flinched.
"It's not what you think," he said hastily. "We're not having... We're just patrolling together!"
He could swear that Oz smiled for a second.
"Actually, that's exactly what I was asking about. The way you fought against those guys it's obvious that you do it often".
Spike squirmed.
"Beer?" he suggested.
Oz shook his head.
"Buffy looks great", he said. "I heard about your problems, but they didn't - "
"No problems", Spike interrupted hastily. "It's over. I help her to patrol around the Hellmouth, and that's all. And I live in her house only because we're afraid of another attack of those buggers - we have a houseful of teenage girls and we have to protect them, and I'm strong enough... What?"
This time Oz couldn't hide his smile.
"That's what I was talking about, Spike. You have problems with the Hellmouth, with the Bringers, with the First Evil - but Buffy still looks great."
"Oh".
"She's practically glowing. When she looked at you after the fight..."
"It's not what you think..." - Spike gulped and winced, desperately seeking another topic. "Willow's OK", - he said at last.
"I know", - Oz said calmly. "I phoned her. She filled me in".
"That true? What did she say?"
"She moved on. Good for her." Oz frowned. "She said there was an incident with Amy."
"Who?"
"Her schoolmate who has been a rat since school days. Turned out she became human again and did nasty things to Willow."
"Uh-huh. Rats good, humans nasty. Did Willow say something about Buffy?"
"Not much. She says Buffy looks happier now when you're safe. She wasn't herself when those creepy eyeless guys abducted you".
Spike's face lit up.
"She said that?" But, off Oz's grin he murmured "Uh... Buffy worries about everybody who's in trouble".
"And who's in trouble?" Buffy asked as she approached the table in the corner where Oz and Spike were sitting.
" Er... nobody," Spike said. "Where is the girl?"
"She said she didn't want to return here and I can't blame her. This place stinks. Oz, she's waiting for you in your car."


"It's so weird," Buffy said as she and Spike were walking down the night street in the direction of Revello Drive. "Oz came and left and never even saw Willow".
Spike shrugged silently. Buffy felt a bit annoyed by his reluctance to talk. She had already devised the strategy of their conversation - first talk about Willow and Oz, then subtly yet firmly switch the topic to the intricacies of love and then, finally talk about their own relationship.
About Spike's exasperating manner to sneak into the basement as soon as they get back from patrol.
About his insistence to get chained up for the night.
About naughty thoughts that overwhelm her every time she chains him...
She tried again.
"So - did he tell you how he feels about her?"
Spike frowned.
"Who told me about whom?"
Buffy rolled her eyes.
"Oz. About Willow."
"Oh. He said it was good she moved on".
Buffy's face brightened up.
"Well, he's right. People grow up. Find other partners who... who suit them better".
"That true? That Kennedy chick is spoiled brat if you ask me."
Buffy nodded.
"Total bitch. I don't mean her. I'm talking theoretically".
"Oh. Aftereffects of Walsh's psychology classes".
"Stop being a pain in the ass, Spike. You know what? You need a girlfriend!"
Buffy knew she shouldn't say it but she couldn't stop herself. There was something about Spike's attitude that made her mad.
"Sorry, Luv, all the pretty girls are already taken. Either by school principals, or by smart werevolves like Oz. All that is left is a couple of lesbians and a bunch of underaged brats. Although I must confess that once I considered Willow a very nummy treat... Ow!"
Buffy elbowed him and giggled.
"I imagine Kennedy's face if she'd caught you two canoodling!"
"Bet you'd enjoy it!"
"Perv", Buffy retorted.
"Oh, I'm very sorry for even thinking about it! Ah, Willow and Kennedy - their love is so pure! They're perfect for each other! They're true soulmates."
"Shut up, Spike. Don't pretend you don't understand. You know what I mean".
"You mean I'm a perv."
"You are. Your insinuations regarding me and Principal Wood are extremely gross. And perversive."
"That true? And who made googly eyes at him and ate from his fork?"
"It was a tactical distraction. Should I remind you that I had to find out if he was evil".
"He is evil by definition, Slayer. He's school principal. His primary task is to torture teenagers. His secondary task is to seduce their older sisters..."
Buffy smiled happily.
"Jealous much?"
"Me? Don't count on it!" He laughed unnaturally. "Hopeful much, Slayer?"
"Lame".
Spike winced.
"I'm not jealous! I'm just... objective."
"Uh-huh". Buffy's voice was dripping with glee. "Objective".
"Yes. Objective. I'm a very objective man. For example..." Spike paused, thinking hard. "I appreciate your sweet ass, Slayer, but this girl of Oz has better breasts."
"Wha-at?! Bet it's silicon".
"No way. I'd smell silicon. Gorgeous breasts, totally natural - ripe, full, delicious cups of pleasure any man would like to drink... "
"Ewww - gross!" Buffy made a face.
"Jealous much?"
"Me?! How'd you say it? Hopeful much!"
And, before Spike could retort, she quickly changed the topic.
"By the way, I'm not sure she even could be qualified as his girlfriend. Oz met Nina - this girl - just yesterday. She was hitchhiking to LA where her sister lives. She wants to enroll in an art college there."
Buffy smiled maliciously and added.
"Hopefully she'll stay away from werewolves and other creepy creatures of the night".
Spike sighed.
"Damn, Slayer, you could tell me she's not Oz' girl before she left!" His voice was dead serious. "I could give her a couple of lessons on fine arts... Ouch!"
"You're not her type, Spike".
"Come on, Luv. She definitely has a thing for werewolves. And it's just one step from boyfriend-werewolf to boyfriend-vampire... Ouch!"
Buffy sighed. Thank God Nina has left. Of course she can have any werewolf and any vampire she wants.
But not Buffy's vampire.

The end

Comments

[uglybusiness.livejournal.com]

So witty and lovely :) I really like their "voices" and the way you've weaved Angel references into the story. Thanks for the smile :)

[moscow-watcher.livejournal.com]

Aw, thanks! I think I've been influenced by Lost where everybody happens to be connected in weird ways. :)

[jamesmfan.livejournal.com]

That was great! And the mystery blonde was Nina! Love it. It's great when things from ATS get woven into BTVS stories.

The snark between Buffy and Spike was spot on too and the "their love is so pure" in regards to Kennedy and Willow is just plain amusing.

Also, yay for Oz! There needs to be more fics with Oz in.

Thank you for writing me such a cool fic :)

[moscow-watcher.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you liked it. I had enormous fun writing their banter. I also adore Oz and I would be happy to see him more - especially together with Spike!

Thank God we have fanfiction! :)

[awmp.livejournal.com]

that was great snark :)
you really should try more often to write in English!

[moscow-watcher.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm trying to write but it's awfully hard to be funny in foreign language.

Your encouragement means a lot for me. I admire you fanart - your Animated!Spike in particular - and your NC-17 Spuffy animations are absolute delight.

You did a "trademark" avatar for my fic!!! Wow! Now I have piece of awmp's art dedicated to my (lame) writings! :)

Thanks!

[liisann.livejournal.com]

Such a nice amusing story! Your Spuffy are warm and touching! Thank you very much!

[moscow-watcher.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Lidochka! I'm very glad you liked it! I must confess that the story would be much longer if I'd wrote it in Russian - obviously writing in foreign language disciplines and teaches to be concise.

[liisann.livejournal.com]

В таком случае, какя жалость, что это не на русском!
А повторить в развёрнутом виде? Или уже скучно?;)

[moscow-watcher.livejournal.com]

Знаешь, я поняла, что мне не хватает - самодисциплины? умения погрузиться во вселенную без остатка? - в общем, мне трудно писать в рамках, которые мне заданы. Вернее, мне очень трудно от них абстрагироваться. В данном случаес мне заказали, чтобы в фике был Оз и фраза "их любовь так чиста!", и я чувствовала, что зациклена на "задании". Остальное бессознательно подгонялось под эти параметры. А может быть, дело в том, что в заявке также требовалось, чтобы действие происходило в 7 сезоне, а в канонической версии в этот период снарка кот наплакал, сплошной UST с WAFFом, поэтому мне все время казалось, что получается не органично. Наверное, challenges - не для меня.
Ну ничего, я теперь буду оттягиваться на русском. Мне давно хотелось переписать TGIQ. И еще у меня были мысли немножко разобраться с парочкой Уэсли-Фред, а то почти во всех моих фиках они оказываются вместе, но как-то между делом, "за компанию". И тут вдруг у меня возникла идейка как объединить две линии (Спайк-Баффи, Уэсли-Фред) в один фик.
Ох, как же приятно, когда можно просто писать и не нужно притягивать за уши какие-то идеи или фразы! :)

[zanthinegirl.livejournal.com]

Very cute! I enjoyed the snarking; it's nice to see them interact in a healthy way. And Nina! Very clever.

And Oz is always good!

[moscow-watcher.livejournal.com]

Thanks! It was fun to make them snarky during "soul" phase". And I agree - Oz is always good! :)

[makd.livejournal.com]

Had bookmarked this for future reading. Delightful! I love the banter and the foreshadowing of Nina/Angel.

[moscow-watcher.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I think it's the influence of Lost where everybody happens to meet each other in flashbacks (without even knowing it). :)