Yes... but. But. As a lesbian myself, I love my best friend to death and have probably been through all of what you mentioned (without the vampires, of course!) with my best friend, including friendship!jealousy, sex life talks, and living together for a while, and honestly, I've never had anything but platonic feelings for her. It's a best friend thing. Now, my other friend who's not exactly considered my "best" is a different story.

BUT. Not everyone's like me. And since this isn't me, maybe I should stop taking it so personally, and just go with the flow. Because honestly Willow/Buffy love would be more interesting than Xander/Buffy, you're right. I suppose. (Even though I'm still holding out for Willow/Tara-ness. Still. Even after The Death.) Okay. Fine. Nice convincing. :D

And, re: Faith. Ah, yes. I ship them, and I think Buffy's mostly oblivious to Faith's angsty feelings, and when she's aware, it's too late to do anything with it, and Faith's on her downward spiral. Oh, the sadness.